How to actively look for a boyfriend
It's not always an easy task! Consequently, many singles are enlisting the help of professional cupids whose business is bringing together compatible couples. Today's matchmakers work hard for their money—and they demand a lot of it. Prices for these pros run steep, and only a select few singles are affluent enough to afford the service.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: You're My Boooyfriend - FREE EPISODE - 1. Are You B’s Boooyfriend? Pt. 1 - ZEUS - B. SIMONE
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Big Time Rush - Boyfriend (Official Music Video) ft. Snoop DoggContent:
- "36 things I wish I knew about love and men when I was 20."
- How to Get a Boyfriend: 10 Proven Tips To Get The Guy You Want
- The Truth Behind Why Love Only Finds You When You Stop Looking
- Find a boyfriend: 15 tips from professional matchmakers
- How to Find a Good Boyfriend: 8 Uncommon Tips for Attracting an Amazing Man
- 39 Ways to Meet Guys That Don’t Involve Dating Apps
"36 things I wish I knew about love and men when I was 20."
Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. By now you've probably noticed that looking for a good partner doesn't really work. Search all you want, the more you claw through masses of potential suitors, the more you find poor match after poor match. While, yes, action is better than inaction, the quality of your action still matters a lot, too.
There is a middle ground between forcibly looking for a relationship and just idly waiting until one falls in your lap. If you'll notice, most of the people in happy relationships around you found a partner without exerting much apparent effort. Sure, they put effort into the relationship once it was established, but the search seemed easy. They just "randomly" met the person through a mutual friend, a dating app, or wherever.
Well, people find a lot more success when they simply set the stage for a good relationship to happen and then let people come to them. It was the way they approached dating that made the difference. Much of the time, they didn't even try to date at all. Think about it: People are coming and going all the time in your life.
There is tons of potential to find a good man because men are everywhere. If you're not finding the right match, the problem is not that you aren't looking hard enough-- it's that you're not living the kind of life that attracts the right person for you. Hey, I'm not here to judge you or tell you how to live your life. There's nothing wrong with being single. But if you don't want to be single anymore and you want to start inviting great men into your life, scan your eyeballs over these tips on how to take a different approach to dating:.
You might think you're focusing on the positive qualities that you want in a man, but chances are that you aren't. Most people aren't. Often, people think they're looking for a "good boyfriend," when in fact they are simply trying to avoid crappy ones. When you're looking to avoid a bad relationship, your mental energy will be placed towards disqualifying guys that you're dating.
You will be silently judging them, trying to pick out little "signs" that they're unworthy. You will be quick to shoo a guy away if he doesn't tick the right boxes. I knew someone who had this dating style. She was a little older and had been scorned many times before. Because of that, her dating life consisted of watching the men she dated with paranoia, waiting for them to show signs of being "disrespectful," "unappreciative," "arrogant," and many other amorphous adjectives.
She was looking for a reason to reject them without even realizing it. She probably did this because in the back of her mind she knew that it was easier to just reject a guy than to take an emotional risk and try dating him even if he wasn't totally perfect. Instead of trying to avoid a bad match, train your focus on the traits that you do want. Maybe the first guy you meet isn't what you're looking for, but he probably has some qualities that you can appreciate.
Enjoy what he has to offer, and then move on. Learn to find and appreciate the things that you like about other people, and you might notice suddenly that there were a lot of potentially great boyfriends in your life already. Does this mean that you should tolerate genuinely bad behavior from a guy? Should you be fine with it if he genuinely disrespects you by insulting you, constantly breaking promises, or physically harming you? Of course not. Just try to catch when you're overly focused on what you don't want and when you're rejecting guys prematurely because of it.
Well, yes, it's true that you are the final expert on what you want out of life. No one can know that better than you. It's just that even you probably don't know it. Few people do without sufficient experience, and even then our desires can always randomly change. Lots of people have mental lists about what they want in a partner. All of that is theory, though, and as you acquire more experience dating, you'll find that much of it is worthless.
This is why a lot of people are disillusioned when they first start dating or throughout the entire course of their lives, if they're stubborn enough. It's nothing like what they wanted or expected. Don't just sit around thinking about what you want in a man.
Don't just theorize about what makes a "good man" for you. You need to get out there and experience different people to understand relationships better. Very, very, VERY few people that you meet will give you objective, unbiased love advice that is actually usable. These folks are nearly as rare as unicorns.
Now, most people aren't trying to be biased when they give advice. They have good intentions, but usually their advice comes from their own agendas.
In other words, what they tell you might actually have nothing to do with you or your situation! Maybe Jessica was burned one too many times by men who were aloof, so now she advises you to stop dating a guy because he missed a few of your phone calls.
Maybe Miranda had a long-term boyfriend who was too clingy and suffocating, so now she encourages you to ignore a guy who has expressed "too much" interest in you because he's "creepy.
Or maybe your mom is pressuring you to marry that doctor or lawyer or garbage collector who makes a great living, but who you're totally not attracted to. Each of these people have agendas. As well-intentioned as they might be, really what they're doing is trying to find a boyfriend for you that they like, not one that will actually suit your needs. Instead, use your social circle to find guys who are already socially "vetted.
Maybe you can find a good boyfriend among them. Like a lot of women, maybe you have a long mental list of traits that you'll accept in a boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, it's important to have standards. Just make sure that those standards make sense. There are many people in this world who scoff at others for dumb, superficial reasons. Many people dismiss potentially good matches simply because they believe that they "deserve" better.
Do you harbor this attitude deep inside? Be honest: Have you ever been a little offended because an unattractive guy approached you?
Why did he think that you would date him , right? Does he really think that he's in your league? How can he low-key insult you like that? Can't he see that you deserve better? By all means, don't date a guy who you don't find attractive. However, confusing what you want in a relationship with what you "deserve" from life is nothing but entitlement. Besides the obvious things like having a man who respects you and is a decent human being, you don't "deserve" a certain kind of boyfriend.
With an attitude of deep entitlement, you will either attract no one or a crappy relationship that is based on superficiality. These kinds of statements are actually pretty common. Lots of memes on social media parade this sort of mindset around. Sometimes, a good man might tolerate these narcissistic shenanigans if you don't actually live your life this way. After all, most Marilyn Monroe memes with supposed quotes aren't that well thought-out.
However, if you actually think this way and live your life with a deep-seated sense of entitlement, good luck. Guys who actually have a strong sense of self-preservation and would make a good boyfriend will flee from you. That being said, you should of course have standards. You need to have boundaries for what kind of behavior you accept from a guy. This is because a person's behavior is a reflection of his character. So if you tell a guy that you don't like people visiting your house without calling first, and he shows unannounced whenever he wants, that's crossing a boundary.
If you tell a guy that you don't want to have sex outside of marriage, but he relentlessly pressures you to anyway, then that's another boundary crossed. Don't take this kind of thing lightly. If he tests your personal space and boundaries early on in the relationship, he will outright disrespect them later.
You want a guy who will take your principles and your personal limits seriously, even if he doesn't share them. Just as some people are raised to dismiss the needs of others and live an ego-centric life, some people are raised to dismiss their own emotional needs and never show them. Sometimes people are afraid to open up and express their real emotions. Even more, they're afraid to ask for what they need, since their potential partners can just say "no.
Opening yourself up is how you build a good, soulful relationship, though. A good boyfriend will be willing to take you as you are and help you fulfill your needs. He will also be willing to be as vulnerable as you are. When you put all your cards on the table, there are no more games.
If you want a healthy relationship, take the initiative and be totally open with the guys you are dating. You will attract much better men this way. Well, it's nothing.
How to Get a Boyfriend: 10 Proven Tips To Get The Guy You Want
Updated: February 11, References. Do you need a date for an upcoming school dance? Or maybe there's a family event, and you'd love to have a boyfriend to accompany you.
Yeah, no. Truly putting yourself out there and meeting people can be super hard, let alone meeting people you actually legitimately like enough to start a relationship. Sometimes, you want to take things into your own hands and actively look for a new partner on your own schedule. Although, yes, it can totally feel that way sometimes. After all, people used to figure out a way to do this on their own, face-to-face!
The Truth Behind Why Love Only Finds You When You Stop Looking
I believe that every person has a soulmate out there, myself included. Right should be looking for me too. I need to accept that before I can even think about being with someone. I should want a guy, not need one, and that makes all the difference. My life can still have purpose without it. Is that so horrible? I love my life. Right now, I love my life just the way it is. I have my girlfriends, my guy friends, my family and my work to keep me occupied.
Find a boyfriend: 15 tips from professional matchmakers
This is true fundamentally because looking allows you to settle, and looking for something in the midst of what you have lowers your standards to fit whatever is there at the moment. Finding someone you like when you're specifically not looking often ends up working out because there is something about it that makes it worth trying, even though you might not be in the right place or time for a relationship. When looking at dating profile after profile, your standards begin to drop. In a sea of Tinder creeps and weirdos, this decent, not-terrible guy suddenly becomes much easier to consider.
I understand. And the more you want it, the more desperate you can get in wanting a boyfriend. The more desperate you are…well…the less likely you are to attract a man.
How to Find a Good Boyfriend: 8 Uncommon Tips for Attracting an Amazing Man
.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Look At My Boyfriend - (Parody Song by Sam Golbach & Katrina Stuart) - Sam Golbach
39 Ways to Meet Guys That Don’t Involve Dating Apps