Will my boyfriend still love me after rehab
About a year ago, I met a wonderful or so I thought man. We'll call him "George. I am more physically attracted to George than I ever have been to any other man, and I thought George felt the same about me. From the second we first met, we had a very strong connection and felt incredibly drawn to each other.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Dealing With Addiction In Your Relationship - How To Deal With An Addicted PartnerContent:
- No One Wants You to Fall in Love After Rehab
- Post-Rehab: 11 Things to Avoid When a Loved One Comes Home
- Supporting Your Romantic Partner Through Addiction Recovery
- Being Supportive Of Your Partner: After Rehab
- Love, Sex and Relationships while in Recovery from Addiction
- The Most Important Thing You Don’t Know About Rehab
- Nar-Anon Family Groups Forum
- Being Supportive Of Your Partner: During Rehab
- How Leaving My Relationship To Get Sober Saved It
No One Wants You to Fall in Love After Rehab
Forgot Password? Mark Forums Read. Boyfriend left me after Rehab. Thread Tools. Ok, so I am mainly wondering if this is normal. It is going to be a little long but I'm going to try to give important details. My boyfriend ex? We split up for about a year about two years ago but ended up back together. We have always adored each other he was an amazing person always made me feel so special and I would of never seen his drug addiction coming to light.
Apparently while we were not together he started with pills, and eventually switched over to heroine, which makes for the last 3. I had no idea honestly, a little niave but also he hid it well. About four months ago now, things got terrible, he wasn't the same person so I told him I couldn't do it anymore and chalked it up to growing apart.
He begged me not to leave him, so I kept in contact and told him we could work on things. About a month later, he called me out of the blue to tell me he was going away to rehab for help and has been addicted to opiates for a while.
Emotional obviously, but I went and saw him and sent him off well on his way telling him how proud I was and how I knew he could do this. He was going away for 30 days and at the time planned on coming home. While there he called me every week and the conversations were very normal and it felt like I had my best friend back or would. Needless to say, for family weekend his mom and I flew miles to see him, thinking that him and I would get back to the couple that talked about marriage and kids and a future.
While I was there he seemed fine, a little distant but I expected it, when I left he kissed me and told me he loved me. He had decided he was going to move into a sober house out there and I was so happy to hear he didn't want to come back when he knew he wasn't ready. He got out of rehab less than a week after we left and called me.
At first he told me he needed to think what was best but still loved me. Then a few days later told me it was best if we weren't together right now but still wanted me in his life.
Then less than a week after that told me to forget him. And then continued to tell me that he didn't want a relationship with me and won't and blah blah blah. Of course I was confused since 6 years was going down the drain with a snap of a finger so I went a little crazy trying to convince him to let me support him and be in his life. His most recent conversation with me was that he didn't think of me like that anymore and that he held on for the wrong reasons and didn't want to be with me ever again.
Although I am trying to accept this, I'm a little confused. Is this normal? I know for a fact if I could see him we would be in love again but him being miles away that isn't going to happen so I'm in the process of trying to accept that someone I planned my future with decided over the course of days that 6 years was a mistake. Is it possible that his brain is just not completely healed yet or that he is confused with life right now? I asked if he met someone else he said no but I don't think he would tell me out of not wanting to hurt me.
I'm so confused!!! I just wish I could understand but he doesn't give me much explanation besides feelings change and relationships end all the time. View Public Profile. Find More Posts by Linzey Welcome to the Board. I'm sorry for what has brought you here. We see stories like yours very often, when the loved one of an addict is on the receiving end of a breakup and they're left going, WTF?!? I think it's important that you recognize that while he was under the influence of opiates, you really did not know the real him.
Opiates have a way of suppressing the addict's core because they don't feel anything. Once the opiates are out of their system, and they have to weather all the emotions they didn't feel before, it's a huge challenge for them to manage it.
The truth is most of them can't, and they relapse. The truth, Linzey, is for as much as you're hurting and confused right now, he has set you free. The reasons why he did what he did do not matter at this point. All that matters is you have an opportunity to heal, should you choose to take it. There are a lot of women here who've been in your shoes and are in various stages of recovery.
My hope is over the next day or so, they'll chime in and share what they've gone through and what they did to stay upright. Pay attention to what they say. In the meantime, take care, and again, Welcome to the Board. Find More Posts by zoso Thank you so much for your input. I figured it was time to take a different route in trying to accept this because I was going crazy trying to figure out.
I look forward to actively talking with people have had to go through the same thing because it is definitely a heart wrenching situation.
Originally Posted by Linzey Hi Linzey and welcome! Also I am so sorry for the intense pain you are going through. It is as you said "heart wrenching" and that is putting it lightly I was in my mid 20s when I found out my boyfriend of 5 years had gotten into meth. He did not go to rehab and made the promise to never use again.
I didn't believe him so left the relationship. He went on to dealing, armed robberies and eventually 3 years in jail. Behind every addiction is one heck of a lot of problems that even the addict doesn't understand. That your BF went to rehab and then to a sober house is fabulous but no guarantee that he will stay sober and obtain recovery. Do everything you can to focus on yourself and your own healing.
Be kind to yourself. Eat well, get exercise and find good friends to spend time with. Read all you can about being in a relationship with an addict; the stickies on this thread are a good place to start.
You might consider finding an alanon meeting. And keep posting here as we understand how horrible this is to live through. Find More Posts by Bekindalways. I would feel confused also based on what you described. My thoughts are that he has been introduced to many new things, and has been asked to examine his life and where he wants it to go. Once upon a time I became addicted to prescribed meds which were opiates.
I never went to rehab but did work with my doctor and a therapist. I felt somewhat vulnerable at the time and because I was home I leaned heavily on my husband. But had I been in a different environment I might have clung to that.
I feel like this is probably only about him and where his mind is at, uncertain of what he's capable of and being in a new environment he may be shutting out the old and clinging to whats new. Extended use of drugs do alter the brain, but for most people it will return to normal. You might want to read about dopamine changes. A good site for info is National Institute Drug Abuse. Id try to keep moving forward and take good care of yourself during this stressful time.
Focus on what makes you happy. He may be back around, he may not. Relapse is also common. Hopefully he's been put on medication to help. But his life probably wont be stable for a while. Your however need not be filled with anything but belief the life you want, and hopefully the man you are destined to be with will find you. It could still be him, but keep your options and heart open. Keep growing while your ex is hopefully doing the same. Find More Posts by AnonWife.
Thank you everyone, everything you have all said all make sense and I know I need to move on but it's so hard to detach myself. Has anybody had any experience with boyfriends leaving and coming back? I know it's horrible to think but it's all I wish for. I just don't know if he's super confused right now or if sober he doesn't care about me as much as he says.
My guess is that he is confused right now; going through a transition perhaps Sending you a hug. Find More Posts by teatreeoil
Post-Rehab: 11 Things to Avoid When a Loved One Comes Home
My love story starts like so many do — I met my husband in a bar. He was the owner of the bar and I was an alcoholic and drug addict, deep in my active addiction. It was a match made in heaven, because the alcohol and drugs were free and his need to be at the bar at all times worked out well for my drinking schedule.
The Nar-Anon Family Groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else's addiction. As a twelve step program, we offer our help by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. Post by time4me? Quick links. Why would husband leave me after his rehab?
Supporting Your Romantic Partner Through Addiction Recovery
It can be the great escape, bounce you back into relapse, or trigger a new addiction. Of course, you should. The whole point of recovery is to be healthy and happy, and that includes in your personal relationships with other people. But relationships can be tricky, even when you are at your best. There is stress and anxiety and pressure and the desire for everything to be perfect, and those are present even when the relationship is going well. And since every relationship has problems, there will also be arguments and anger and jealousy. During early recovery, you are emotionally fragile, because you are still learning how to use the strengths and tools that keep you sober and balanced. The lessons and exercises and positive coping strategies you have been taught are not yet second nature or habit.
Being Supportive Of Your Partner: After Rehab
My boyfriend has been in treatment since late September and is supposed to come home on Nov. I am excited, but nervous! Lately, he has been more distant. I know it sounds selfish, but now I am thinking about what is going to happen to me.
Just before 6 AM on the first day of my boyfriend wakes me. He kisses me and pulls me upright. He folds my hands around a cup of coffee. I ask him for a cigarette.
Love, Sex and Relationships while in Recovery from Addiction
When a person becomes addicted to alcohol or drugs , it puts immense stress on loved ones around them — especially their romantic partner. An addiction has the power to encroach onto romantic relationships, shattering the trust, intimacy and comfort that was once there. What started out as a one-time experiment or occasional event may have evolved into a spiraling cycle of abuse. But seeking treatment for an addiction might be the best decision your partner could make for your relationship.
Get Started Today with Vertava Health. At Addiction Campuses we talk a lot about getting you or your loved one into treatment. Just make the call, we say. One call can save a life. Call us, today. But finally — they agreed and you made the call.
The Most Important Thing You Don’t Know About Rehab
It was the day before Valentine's Day, , and I was ecstatic. I flew into JFK, my body buzzing as I pushed my way off the plane, and half-sprinted to baggage claim, where my boyfriend was waiting with a bouquet of roses tucked under his armpit. He held his other arm out, I threw my body into his chest, and we did that awkward, we're-kind-of-making-out-but-we're-also-in-public thing, completing the illusion that we were living a real-life romcom.
Nar-Anon Family Groups Forum
The Nar-Anon Family Groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else's addiction. As a twelve step program, we offer our help by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. Quick links.
Being Supportive Of Your Partner: During Rehab
One of the most tragic outcomes of active addiction is the damage it does to your primary relationships, especially the one with your partner or spouse. Addiction can take a serious toll on a couple, leaving a long trail of broken promises, broken trust, anger, and frustration behind. Whether a relationship can mend following detox and treatment is highly individual, based on whether there is enough good left in the relationship to salvage and nurture back to health. Some relationships will simply not survive addiction, but many will.
How Leaving My Relationship To Get Sober Saved It